Usually there is no training prior to becoming a Carer, so most people manage as best they can, learning as they go. You may love the person you care for, but the daily responsibility of attending to their needs can mean that your own needs are neglected.

Changing relationships

Carers often say that one of the most difficult things to deal with is accepting that their relationship with the person they care for has changed. Perhaps your partner can no longer take on the responsibility of managing the household finances and you have had to take over. Or your child’s recently diagnosed disability has meant that you are not only their parent but their nurse and advocate as well.

Ways of coping

Taking time out for yourself

Leisure time is often the first thing that disappears for Carers, yet it is one of the best stress relievers. If possible try to take time out each day. Having a Carer Support Plan can help identify your personal needs as a Carer. It includes looking after yourself and finding ways to ensure you can have a life outside of caring. It can be simple things, such as a couple of hours to have a coffee and a catch-up with an old friend, or planning for an actual respite break away from the caring role to recharge your batteries. See our Small Grants leaflet for tips on financial help with this.

Exercise

Having regular exercise helps bodies get rid of excess stress energy. Otherwise you may find that you are pacing and tapping your hands and feet. Try swimming, a fitness class or even a short walk. It’s important to do something you actually enjoy or it will become yet another chore.

Taking part in groups

Joining a local Carers’ support group can be a way to get both practical and emotional support. Other Carers are often a great source of knowledge and expertise. No matter what you are struggling with, there will usually be someone who has been through something similar and understands how you feel.

Sleep

Most people need around seven to eight hours’ sleep a night, but less as we get older. If your sleep is often disturbed during the night, think about having a five to 20-minute catnap during the day to recharge your batteries.

Think about your diet

If we give our body plenty of fuel in the form of healthy food and drink and monitor our caffeine and alcohol intake, we generally find that our ‘engine’ will run better. The healthier you are, the more easily you can cope with the demands of caring.

Remember to breathe

A simple but effective technique to use when things are getting on top of you is to focus on your breath. Take three slow, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Practise this next time you are in a queue or have a few moments to spare, and notice the calming effect it has.

Moving On

Moving forward first involves letting something go – the old life that you had before you became a Carer, and maybe some of your hopes and dreams for the future. Sometimes you feel hopeless and stuck, not believing that anything will ever change for the better. You need to acknowledge what you have lost and accept that before you can think about the future and begin to allow yourself to create new plans.

Feelings we may experience as Carers are unique to each individual and can seem complex at times. There is further information on this here: Guilt and resentment – Carers UK. Remember you can talk through thoughts and feelings with someone you trust such as a friend or family member or with a professional, including speaking with Connecting Carers via the Carer Support Line.

Counselling

Connecting Carers has its own volunteer counselling service. Our dedicated volunteer COSCA-accredited counsellors offer counselling to Carers free of charge. If you would like more information call our Carer Support Line on 01463 723560 or email us on carers@connectingcarers.org.uk.