When Jill joined Connecting Carers as a volunteer counsellor almost two years ago, she brought with her not only professional training, but also personal experience of caring and navigating the mental health system.
Her counselling journey began when a close family member developed mental health difficulties. Frustrated by the lack of support available, Jill made a life-changing decision.
“I realised I could either complain about the situation or do something to help make a difference to mental health support in Highland.”
While working for Transport Scotland’s Air Discount Scheme, Jill enrolled on a Counselling Diploma at UHI, balancing four years of study alongside full-time work. During that time, her loved one’s mental health deteriorated, and she stepped away from her job to become their Carer. With the support of her wider family, she completed her qualification and now volunteers with Connecting Carers while also working as a Support Practitioner with Change Mental Health, supporting people bereaved by suicide.
It is this combination of professional knowledge and lived experience that shapes Jill’s compassionate approach to supporting Carers.
Why counselling isn’t just for times of crisis
Many Carers believe they should only seek support when they reach breaking point. Jill wants you to know that counselling doesn’t have to wait until a crisis.
When you’re caring for someone else, the everyday pressures can quietly build over time. You may find yourself carrying worries alone, feeling unheard, or having nobody to share your thoughts with. Talking about these experiences before they become overwhelming can help you recognise and process emotions that often remain buried beneath the surface.
Counselling gives many Carers the opportunity to acknowledge feelings they have never spoken aloud. For others, it provides a space to explore experiences such as anticipatory grief when caring for someone with a life-limiting or incurable condition.
Naming those emotions won’t change your circumstances, but it can make carrying them feel a little less heavy.
A space that belongs entirely to you
Whether sessions take place in person, by phone or via video call, Jill wants every Carer to know there is no expectation about what you should say or how you should feel.
Some people arrive with so much to talk about that the words flow for the entire session. Others find it difficult to know where to begin. Some communicate through tears rather than conversation. However your session unfolds, this time belongs to you.
Everything you discuss remains confidential, creating a safe environment where you can speak honestly without fear of judgement. Jill’s role isn’t to tell you what to do, but to help you better understand your thoughts, feelings and responses. Sometimes that means gently exploring difficult emotions, but always at a pace that feels comfortable for you. You will never be pushed into saying or doing anything you don’t want to.
“You matter too.”
One of the biggest challenges Jill encounters is meeting Carers who believe they should simply cope on their own.
Caring can bring love, purpose and fulfilment, but it can also feel exhausting, isolating and overwhelming. You might find yourself experiencing emotions that seem to contradict one another, love alongside frustration, compassion alongside resentment, or commitment alongside exhaustion. These feelings can often lead to guilt, but Jill wants Carers to know they are entirely human.
Counselling also provides an opportunity to explore issues that may have existed long before you became a Carer. Sometimes unresolved experiences from the past effect how we cope in the present, and talking with someone who isn’t emotionally involved can offer a fresh perspective, a sense of relief and an opportunity to make sense of what you’re carrying.
Jill knows counselling cannot remove the responsibilities of caring. What it can do is remind you that you deserve support too.
“We cannot take away the weight of your responsibility, but I hope that by making connections with us and others, we can help you to see that you matter too.”
Jill has one final message, not only for Carers considering counselling, but for those she has already had the privilege of supporting.
“To all the clients I have supported in the past, I would like to say that it is an honour to have been a small part of your lives. It is truly a privilege that you had the courage to trust in me and in the therapeutic process during some of your most vulnerable moments. Thank you.”
Whether you’re considering counselling for the first time or have already taken that step, Jill hopes every Carer knows one thing: you don’t have to carry everything on your own. Reaching out for support isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s an important part of caring for yourself as well as the person you love.
If Jill’s story has resonated with you, you may be wondering whether counselling could help. If so, the first step is simply to get in touch.
You can access Connecting Carers’ Counselling Service by speaking with your Carer Link Worker or Wellbeing Officer, who will talk you through the process and complete a referral with you. We’ll keep in touch while you wait, and as soon as a counsellor becomes available, our Volunteer Coordinator will carefully match you with someone whose availability fits yours.
While you’re waiting, you don’t have to face things alone. You can also be referred to our Carers Call Highland befriending service, where one of our trained volunteers can offer a friendly, listening ear over the telephone or by video call.
Whether you’re ready to explore counselling or simply need someone to listen, we’re here to support you in whatever way feels right for you.
Recent Comments